I feel great
I just peed on a car
Little spoons don't ask big questions
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
