So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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