my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
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she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
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Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
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