if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
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