I intend to get homeless drunk
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
