When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
