I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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