No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
