I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize