I just saw a hot homeless man
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
