So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
