The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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