tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
