I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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