just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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