Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
