Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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