I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
