ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
