You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
