what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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