Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
