My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
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Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
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Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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