hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
