Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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