So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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