So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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