glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
