No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
