i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
