you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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