Im at strip club and am horny
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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