We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Randomize
