Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
