Cold hands, warm shart.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
