i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
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