East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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