i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
