how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
