Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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