i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
being pregnant is like rehab
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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