Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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