she woke up with a sticky ear
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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