Sry I called you an 8
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
