She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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