turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
