So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
