her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
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