I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
