I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
