I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
