Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
