I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize