Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
