This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
