Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I forget how to act sober
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
