honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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