I want to make a zoo with you.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
