when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
